I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
