What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
