i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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