So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
