so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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