New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
