Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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