Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
this will be a night to untag.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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