I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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