i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
