You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
