What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's never too late to be topless.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
