There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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