there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
