Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
