Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
