so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
