So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
