You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize