dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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