it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
