yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
