I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
