i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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