So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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