Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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