Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We need a shit load of segways right now
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
