Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
