Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
whose parrot is this?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
