my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she pinky promised me she was 18
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
