There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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