Got a toothbrush?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
