i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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