i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
