Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
