I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
