This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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