naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Blood and glitter go together right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
