I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize