she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
