I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
