We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize