Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
