do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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