So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
