We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
