Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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