So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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