hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
