Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
