Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
