Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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