My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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