how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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