Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize