my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
