I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
