The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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