I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
