yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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