I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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