There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
