Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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