I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize