i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
