break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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