hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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