someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
