It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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