Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Never underestimate the power of titties
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
