I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
