PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
