just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
