I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
