your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
