Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
